[Newsbot]

Title: United loses bags of broken-guitar singer
Category: Funny
Posted By: Robair
Date: 2009-10-29 12:29:18
Canadian

[Choban]

You would think he wouln't fly with them after they broke his guitar

[Robair]

The only direct flight availabe. It's in the article...

[Choban]

Robair Robair:

The only direct flight availabe. It's in the article...

Didn't read the article, just think he would have gone out of his way to fly with someone else.

[Bodah]

What kind of english is this "United loses bags of broken-guitar singer"

They must do it on purpose so you read the article to find out what the fuck their talking about.

[Robair]

Bodah Bodah:

What kind of english is this; "United loses bags of broken-guitar singer"

They must do it on purpose so you read the article to find out what the fuck they're talking about.

Kids, take notice:

When criticizing grammar, it is imperative that yours is correct.

Personally, I don't go down that road because my literary skills SUCK. I'm a numbers guy.

[raydan]

Robair Robair:

Bodah Bodah:

What kind of english is this; "United loses bags of broken-guitar singer"

They must do it on purpose so you read the article to find out what the fuck they're talking about.

Kids, take notice:

When criticizing grammar, it is imperative that yours is correct.

Personally, I don't go down that road because my literary skills SUCK. I'm a numbers guy.

Don't you hate when that happens.

[Bodah]

Robair Robair:

Bodah Bodah:

What kind of english is this; "United loses bags of broken-guitar singer"

They must do it on purpose so you read the article to find out what the fuck they're talking about.

Kids, take notice:

When criticizing grammar, it is imperative that yours is correct.

Personally, I don't go down that road because my literary skills SUCK. I'm a numbers guy.

What all that work and no neg rep, its the least you can do ....

[Donny_Brasco]

I just got back from Vegas via United. Through Denver, left Wed last week and got home Saturday...urrrr, make that Sunday.

So I don't mind packing light to avoid the $20 bag check fee. I do mind that everyone else packed light so that there was no room in the overhead. So I put my bag on top of the safety gear in one of the compartments. Think that was stupid, the attendant told me to do it. It was wrong, but I did it anyways, my bag sitting right on top of and beside the signs saying "no luggage here".

Anyways my flight out of Regina was one hour late. And they have a strict "show up for your international flight 2 hours early" policy. So there I am stuck in the Regina International Airport for three hours. Anyways it was less than fun.

We get to Denver. The catwalk is stuck and I have to pee like a racehorse because of the three beer at the airport and the three beer on the plane. Now I would not have had three on the plane but United DOES NOT GIVE CHANGE and so either I pay $20 USD (they don't take Canadian either) for one beer or for three.

So I go use the washroom and get back to my seat and we're still waiting. The fat woman in front of me is sitting in her seat. She is also upset because as they start letting us out she sits there like a lump. This bitch works for the Canadian Cancer Society in Regina (I hope she reads this in her emails as she sat there doing business when she should have been trying to back up her smelly ass to get off the flight) and so I'm waiting like a polite Canadian and airline passenger...then I think that maybe she's waiting for me.

So I go...and she stands up. The seat handle that was holding the gelatine that should be her waist, hips and thighs in place is no longer there and I'm body checked into the row on the opposite side of the isle. I politely say "excuse me" - seriously, I'm half offended and half sorry. I get up and go and her fat ass follows a few seconds later. I purposely wait outside the aircraft to apologise again. I say "I'm so sorry I thought you were waiting for me" she says "Well I wasn't" and stomps off. At first I'm shocked but then I relax and walk right behind her slow ass all the way to customs. So close that perhaps she was a little uncomfortable. But not close enough to let her sweat from lugging around 500 pounds and two hundred pound carry-ons get on my designer jeans and t-shirt.

Now that paragraph may not have been United's fault...but she waited just as long as I did and probably needed a diet coke and a smoke or something...

And the rest of the trip to Vegas was smooth.

Now coming home was another story. I figure I'm flying to Denver again so I'm not getting there 2 hours early. I'm there about 65 minutes...maybe a little late but I've never had a problem before. I use the kiosk. No luck. So I get in line. 25 minutes later they tell me I'm in the wrong line. So I go to the other line and the lady sends me to the back of the line (I tried arguing but she was a small calm looking lady). So I'm fourth lol. 20 minutes later I'm at the booth and the lady says, sorry, you can't check in now!

Well you know what United does? They sell more seats than they have. If you check in late too bad you are stuck with a change of flight fee and a flight difference fee...

Unless you blow a gasket right in the middle of LAS airport. Which I did. Well the supervisor tells me she's waving the $1000 dollar flight difference fee (and I know it was $1000 because I wanted to come home the next day buy flights were $1000 more!!) but I have to pay the $150 flight change fee.

OK, so I'm in Vegas for another day. It was worth it.

Anyways, I made it on time and my flight was almost on time. Except in Denver where I had a 9 hour layover. Now if you've been in an airport you know there is no place to sit comfortably for 9 hours. And some of you may know that I was in a bad car accident the week before.

And since I'm lugging around all my luggage....OMG that was hell.

And of course the flight was 75 minutes late.

Moral of the story:

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER FLY UNITED.

AS A MATTER OF FACT IF YOU TELL ME YOU CHANGE YOUR FLIGHT PLANS BECAUSE YOU WERE THINKING OF FLYING UNITED I WILL DONATE $5 TO THIS SITE EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Anyways that is my United rant. I have flown quite a bit, these things happen, sometimes trips go wrong. But I was thinking of not flying United because to Carol’s song. I should have listened to him.

[QBall]

Donny_Brasco Donny_Brasco:

Anyways that is my United rant. I have flown quite a bit, these things happen, sometimes trips go wrong. But I was thinking of not flying United because to Carol’s song. I should have listened to him.

I think you need to turn this story into a song.